First Day Back

Last night I had a bit of a physical and mental meltdown. I felt awful and was also letting anything negative in my life grow from something little into something huge and take over my thoughts. I was so depressed and tired and in pain. Needless to say, last night was somewhat miserable.

Then I woke up this morning and went to my first day back at school. It felt really good, too! I got to see my favorite school friends, and had a great first day back! All of my classes and my work went well and it was a beautiful day. And then the best part: I got to talk to my best friend, who I'd decided last night I'd never get to talk to once school started because our schedules are so opposite (one of the bigger reasons I was all mopey) . . .

Now, when I think about today, I feel pretty silly about last night. I wish I was an optimist. Or even a realist. But really, if I let myself, I can be a ridiculously ungrateful pessimist who decides everything in the world is terrible even though she's crazy blessed by God and has an incredible life. Goodness, I'm pathetic sometimes . . . most times.

Camp Barnabas

I spent July 31 through August 7 in Purdy, Missouri at Camp Barnabas, a camp for kids who are disabled. It was such an incredible week, in which I learned to give myself completely and love unconditionally. The huge lesson that God taught me while I was there is that "love is patient, love is kind . . . it is not self-seaking." (I Corinthians 13:4,5)

This is "B2," my cabin. All of the crazy people in the back row? They're my Barnabas family, and they were all amazing. Throughout the week we were able to help and encourage each other so much. It was such a blessing to help others and to be helped. It was also great to talk to and get to know each one of them! The adorable kids in the front are the precious people that my family and I were responsible for taking care of and loving all week--and they were incredible blessings to all of us, helping us to grow and learn how to love.

This is inside of our cabin (the girls stayed in another cabin called the "Barnabunk" at night). Our kids had various disabilities ranging from Cerebral Palsy, to Shaken Baby Syndrome, to Autism and Downs Syndrome, to a bunch of others things that I can't remember. 

My kid's name was Daniel ("Dan-Dan"), and he was adorable! He was 9 years old and he had a mix of Cerebral Palsy and mental retardation and a couple of other things. He could say "mama," and he could crawl, but besides that he didn't talk or communicate with me and because he couldn't walk he had to use a wheelchair. Even though he didn't really respond to people, he loved how different things felt and sounded. He had a lot of squishy and noisy toys that he loved to play with.

Each CIA (which is what I was) is assigned one camper for the week. We are responsible for everything for these kids for the entire week. Clothing, feeding, bathing, putting them to bed, helping them with activities, changing their diapers, etc. It's a huge, important, and tiring job. Because I was a girl taking care of a boy though, the changing and bathing were done for me by different guy CIA's in my cabin (they were so helpful all week and I am still so thankful for their help!).

There were tons of different activities available for the campers, and each cabin was assigned three per day, and then given an open activity time called "OATS," where they chose their own activity. All in all, our cabin had four activities a day for the kids to participate in. Dan-Dan's favorite activity, by far, was swimming! His joy while being splashed in the face was such a beautiful thing! He would just lie in the water with his eyes closed and the most precious smile on his face. His happiness made me happy.