Freedom: 2 Weeks and a Breath Away

Christmas break is so close that I can nearly taste it! Two and a half more weeks of grueling school work before the college world gets nearly a month of vacation.

Of course I cannot help but plan out my break during any spare moment I have and regularly imagine decorating the house with Christmas stuff. 

This is going to be a wonderful month. The smell of Christmas cookies and a pine tree; The dream of, yes, a white Christmas (it's okay to wish, isn't it?); Christmas shopping; That obnoxious Christmas music that I hate; Everlasting Christmas shopping; Biting cold that makes it necessary for me to wear amazing, wintery clothes . . . 

I would like to personally welcome in this beautiful month of December! Bring what you may, dear Beauty.

"Put lights on the tree (put them on the tree, put them on the tree), Put the ribbon on the wreath (put in on the wreath, put it on the wreath) . . ."
Sufjan Stevens-Put The Lights On The Tree

A Little Excited

I have nothing to write about.

That was a lie. I have plenty to write about, but none of it is interesting. If I told you about my life right now all I'd really be able to do is talk about work and school, and who wants to hear about that? I don't. It would just go on and on and probably make you as exhausted reading about it as it makes me trying to live it.

Oh, I guess there is this one tiny little thing.....JONNY'S HOME!! =) I cannot wait to see my dear cousin. I'm so excited!

"They love me like I was a brother, they protect me, listen to me . . . gave me sunshine: made me happy. Nice dream, nice dream . . ."
Radiohead-Nice Dream

"Memories make me want to go back there . . . "

"Do you guys hang out so much anymore?" asked my sister-in-law. I thought about the question for a second too long, and then answered, "Umm, we still hang out." I failed to mention that no, we don't hang out as much or that it is different than it used to be. That things have changed and I hate it. I avoided talking about the subject any further even though I had so much to say about it.

I didn't think such a simple question would cause so much pain. Pain from the memories. A sick realization that things really have changed and I don't know how to change them back. I miss it. I wish the memories would come back to life and be happening here and now. But trying to relive the past would just be awkward and that is a painful thing to realize.

Title taken from "Memories" by Weezer

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)

"As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

This passage is so unbelievably rich. It addresses so many different areas in my life. It's so entirely convicting and encouraging at the same time. As of right now I think this is my favorite Bible passage!

Thank you, God for blessing me so greatly by giving me your word. Thank you for showing me and convicting me of my sins. I pray that you would help me to repent of them. I pray that you would help me to truly be humble. Take away my sickening and overwhelming pride. Help me to be kind and gentle and patient. Lord, I want to be like you, please change my heart. Help me to forgive my brothers and sisters in Christ. Lord, don't let me hate your children, please don't let me live in bitterness against them! Help me to forgive as you forgave me! And God, help me to love. Help me to love my neighbors as you have loved me and to love you above anything or anyone else.

Color Games

The Competition

I'm not gonna lie, this is actually somewhat fun. I usually hate politics, but watching the numbers change is like watching some sort of high stakes game take place. Either "red" (reps) or "blue" (dems) will win, and everyone is enthusiastically cheering their team on. It's like those team games you play at camp--team competition, everyone works together for the better of their team. Every time I refresh the page the numbers have changed and things get more and more intense.

Avoiding Responsibility

I am sitting here trying to put off the inevitable and, unfortunately, necessary, as long I possibly can.

On Wednesday I have a huge test for Anatomy and Physiology, on Friday I have a play critique due in Intro to Theatre, Next Tuesday I have a really intense Lab practical, and next Wednesday I have a test in Intro to Theatre. This is a very small list of the things that I should be preparing for right now. But I'm not. I'm writing on here, checking e-mail, checking aim, thinking sadly about my freshly trashed room (thanks sisters), wishing I could sleep . . .

Why is it SO hard to focus? Why can't I just do what needs to be done like a real grown-up?

"In my head there's a Greyhound station, where I send my thoughts to far off destinations, so they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited than here . . . "
Death Cab For Cutie-Soul Meets Body