A Little Too Random (sorry)

It's fall! It's fall! I love fall. I love everything about it. Everything.

I've realized what an incredible gift my brothers and sisters in Christ truly are lately. They have been confronting me about sins and encouraging me in my walk. I cannot express how grateful I am. Spiritually, I have grown so much in the last 3ish weeks; it has been awesome! How did it take me so long to realize what a gift my church family is?

School is insane right now. Really really insane. As in, I really shouldn't be spending time writing this right now. But I had to get my thoughts out. And God is really meeting me! Every once in a while I let myself get overwhelmed, but I try to look at this as an exciting challenge. It's kind of fun when I look at it the right way. It's like fitting a huge, impossible seeming puzzle together in a certain amount of time--there's something thrilling about it. One step at a time with lots of prayer and English Tea to soothe.

That's not to say that I won't be extremely happy when I have a little breathing time again though. =)

But in the mean time, I have brothers and sisters holding me up in prayer before our Father. I have a God who loves me and is helping me. I have fresh fall air to breathe. I have lovely people to hug and talk to when I'm having a hard time.

Life is so beautiful! So so very beautiful.

Do You Know How Loved You Are?

For the past few weeks I've been struggling a lot with depression.

I wrote last week about how depressed I was the night before I started school, and how silly I felt about it afterward. Well, let me tell you, the "silliness" (if that's what it can really be called) did not end there like I was thinking it would. For the rest of the week my emotions raged out of control: silly and happy one minute, depressed and despairing the next. Needless to say, last week wasn't particularly pleasant.

Because I was so sad, I closed my heart and eyes to the people who were trying to show me love. I didn't even recognize it. I was blind to all of the ways that God has blessed me. I didn't even consider how much He loves me.

Over the weekend things seemed to shape up a little bit. Where did that depression go? Well, instead of finding comfort in God and fighting depression with Joy and God's strength, I was able to ignore it for a few days because I didn't have the stress of homework on my shoulders and I got to see and talk to the person that I wanted to.

So everything was all better, yeah? Ehh. That's what I was thinking until this morning.

Then I started to feel the same sadness sweep over me that was there last week--I was thinking about what this next week would bring and beginning to think that it would be like last week.

And that's when Lydia Martin walks into the kitchen and randomly says, "Do you know how loved you are?" Then walks out, leaving me to actually consider her question.

And you know what? The words that little girl said could not have been more perfect or convicting. Through her, God told me exactly what I needed to hear. I am SO loved! All of the people are around me care about me. I have tons of people praying for me. I get all kinds of warm, loving hugs whenever I'm around my brothers and sisters in Christ, and sincere questions about how I am doing and what's going on in my life. And to top that off, Christ loved me so much that He suffered and died for me!!!!! I'm part of God's family, and if that doesn't totally fill my heart with joy, then nothing will.

I am so loved, and it's an incredible thing.

He Makes Me Smile

•His smile makes me smile.
•His silliness makes me laugh.
•When he tries to cheer me up he always succeeds.
•He comforts me when I'm having a hard time, and he's the best listener I have ever talked to.
•He plays along with my ridiculousness and laughs when I'm silly.
•He is very encouraging.
•He is patient.
•He is insanely sweet.
•He's an excellent example of Christlike behavior.
•He refuses to believe that I'm not good at everything.
•He worries about me and always wants me to be safe and okay.
•He gets along with everyone.
•He's responsible.
•He is humble.
•He can do flips!
•He's original.
•He treats me as an equal and respects my opinions and supports my decisions.
•He never brags (ever).
•Sometimes I want to scream because just being with him or talking to him makes me so happy.
•He never speaks badly of people.
•He has beautiful eyes.
•Whenever he makes mistakes or thinks that he's made a mistake he is quick to humbly apologize and ask for forgiveness and make a change.
•He's good at everything he tries.
•He's the most easy going person I've ever met.
•He has a beautiful voice.
•I can talk to him about anything and he's open with me too.
•He's awesome (the real kind) at playing guitar.
•He accepts me for who I am and never judges me.
•He gives the greatest hugs in the world.

My best friend is the greatest in the world, I'm absolutely convinced of it. ^_^

I'm so thankful that God has blessed me with him.



"You take away the old and show me the new, I feel like I could fly when I stand next to you."
Blue October--"Calling You"