This week has been a very difficult one; the best way to describe how I feel right now is emotionally and physically limp.
I've done some very sinful and stupid things this week, I've been let down by people that I rely on, I've made a lot of mistakes, I've been overwhelmed by work, and, I've ruined a lot of peoples' meals . . .
But if there is one thing to remember it's that God is awesome; He loves me, despite my putrid heart, and He's taking care of me always, especially when things get tough. God is constantly by my side, even when people aren't. And all of this should fill my heart with joy and peace. Even though I felt all week like I was ruining everything and like my life was falling apart, God had everything under control, it's okay that I didn't and don't and never really will, because my best friend will always forgive my sins and always be here to take care of me and love me. =')
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
In the World, But Not of It.
I attend a secular college where professors and students alike continually test my personal beliefs with what they say and what they do.
I work at a restaurant where people swear continually, praise drunkenness and partying, and rale angrily about their guests.
Constantly I'm surrounded by the world. Day after day Satan tries to make me think that sin isn't so bad, sometimes not bad at all. I guess it's easier and easier to give into that mindset after being desensitized by disgusting speech, sex-saturated society, bad attitudes all around, drunkenness being praised, etc. But the world idolizes . . . everything--praising sin and looking down upon those who stand up for what is right.
But if we're actually growing closer to God, getting to know him more and becoming more like Christ, these things of the world, this sinfulness, should be becoming more and more grotesque to us, not more acceptable: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2). We should be grieved; but I'm afraid, instead, many of us start to embrace these things ourselves, annoyed with all of the people (brothers and sisters in Christ) who are "judging us" for participating in certain things.
But where does the Bible say not to swear? Where does the Bible say not to do drugs? And well, maybe the Bible says somewhere not to get drunk, but I don't think it really meant it . . . people just need to stop be legalistic!
But God calls us to be completely different from the world. We are supposed to stand out--if we don't stand out, if we're living the same lives as the world around us, what exactly is it that makes us believe that we're Christians? Just because we believe that God exists? Just because we believe that God loves us? While faith is extremely important, our actions matter too!
Anyway. All of this has been on my heart more and more lately. I see my own morals slipping and I find myself forgetting why I ever had a problem with certain things, or trying to convince myself that they aren't wrong. I also have witnessed many dear friends seem to lose the convictions that they once held and slowly slip into sin.
It breaks my heart, and I know it doesn't please God. So I'm sorry about all of the rambling, but please do look at your heart and examine yourself honestly. I know that I needed a wake up call; we have eternity before us and an awesome God to serve.
I work at a restaurant where people swear continually, praise drunkenness and partying, and rale angrily about their guests.
Constantly I'm surrounded by the world. Day after day Satan tries to make me think that sin isn't so bad, sometimes not bad at all. I guess it's easier and easier to give into that mindset after being desensitized by disgusting speech, sex-saturated society, bad attitudes all around, drunkenness being praised, etc. But the world idolizes . . . everything--praising sin and looking down upon those who stand up for what is right.
But if we're actually growing closer to God, getting to know him more and becoming more like Christ, these things of the world, this sinfulness, should be becoming more and more grotesque to us, not more acceptable: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2). We should be grieved; but I'm afraid, instead, many of us start to embrace these things ourselves, annoyed with all of the people (brothers and sisters in Christ) who are "judging us" for participating in certain things.
"When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him. When a man is getting worse, he understands his badness less and less. A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is all right."
-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
But where does the Bible say not to swear? Where does the Bible say not to do drugs? And well, maybe the Bible says somewhere not to get drunk, but I don't think it really meant it . . . people just need to stop be legalistic!
But God calls us to be completely different from the world. We are supposed to stand out--if we don't stand out, if we're living the same lives as the world around us, what exactly is it that makes us believe that we're Christians? Just because we believe that God exists? Just because we believe that God loves us? While faith is extremely important, our actions matter too!
Here are some things that God has to say about the world and how we are to relate to it and such:
"I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins."
Isaiah 13:11
"The wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight."
1 Corinthians 3:19
"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is useless. Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
James 1:26-27
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 7:21
"You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:13-16
"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world--the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."
1 John 2:15-17
Anyway. All of this has been on my heart more and more lately. I see my own morals slipping and I find myself forgetting why I ever had a problem with certain things, or trying to convince myself that they aren't wrong. I also have witnessed many dear friends seem to lose the convictions that they once held and slowly slip into sin.
It breaks my heart, and I know it doesn't please God. So I'm sorry about all of the rambling, but please do look at your heart and examine yourself honestly. I know that I needed a wake up call; we have eternity before us and an awesome God to serve.
"If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world. That is why the world hates you."
John 15:19
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The Beautiful Things
It's a sort of eerie, heart sickening feel--you know the one where your heart literally aches?
That's the way change makes me feel.
I feel like I've already written about this? It's kind of a big thing for me I guess. I just don't know how to wrap my brain around it. I don't want it, but I can't stop it. I need it. My life must move forward.
I know that good comes of change. You grow as a person, learn lessons and experience new things. As Christians we're sanctified and made more like Christ with time. I can look back on my life and honestly say that all of the changes I've had to go through so far have only turned out for the good. But that doesn't mean that it isn't almost always painful and sad when you realize that change is coming or has come.
Sometimes it's hard not to look back on my past and long for my life to be what it once was. For friendships to be the way they were, to be able to re-feel things that I once felt, to go back to those places that I loved, for certain habits with friends to be the same again, for the presence of certain people or things that I've lost to come back, for the simplicity that I think I remember there being to once more exist. While there were many, many beautiful things in my past, I tend to romanticize it and forget about the terrible, disgusting things that I have left behind as well. Sometimes, I think, for new and better things to come we have to let go of the old things.
I need to remember that if I went back to the way things were, then it wouldn't be the way it is now--and the way it is now is amazing; although the past was beautiful, the present is so much better. If I still had all of the exact same friendships and habits and feelings, then I wouldn't have room in my heart and life for what I have now. I need to remember all of the sin and wickedness and hurt left in the past and recognize that my life is the way that God wants it to be.
And right now my heart is beginning to hurt like crazy because I know things are changing again . . . I really just need to embrace it, even if it does make me sad for a little bit, because every phase of my life seems to be more beautiful than the last, and that's something to be excited about. Change is something to marvel at, even if sometimes that marveling includes dread and fear at first.
"I noticed tonight that the world has been turning . . . though I know I said I wouldn't leave you behind, but I have to go, it breaks my heart to say that I can't stop now . . ."
Keane--Can't Stop Now
That's the way change makes me feel.
I feel like I've already written about this? It's kind of a big thing for me I guess. I just don't know how to wrap my brain around it. I don't want it, but I can't stop it. I need it. My life must move forward.
I know that good comes of change. You grow as a person, learn lessons and experience new things. As Christians we're sanctified and made more like Christ with time. I can look back on my life and honestly say that all of the changes I've had to go through so far have only turned out for the good. But that doesn't mean that it isn't almost always painful and sad when you realize that change is coming or has come.
Sometimes it's hard not to look back on my past and long for my life to be what it once was. For friendships to be the way they were, to be able to re-feel things that I once felt, to go back to those places that I loved, for certain habits with friends to be the same again, for the presence of certain people or things that I've lost to come back, for the simplicity that I think I remember there being to once more exist. While there were many, many beautiful things in my past, I tend to romanticize it and forget about the terrible, disgusting things that I have left behind as well. Sometimes, I think, for new and better things to come we have to let go of the old things.
I need to remember that if I went back to the way things were, then it wouldn't be the way it is now--and the way it is now is amazing; although the past was beautiful, the present is so much better. If I still had all of the exact same friendships and habits and feelings, then I wouldn't have room in my heart and life for what I have now. I need to remember all of the sin and wickedness and hurt left in the past and recognize that my life is the way that God wants it to be.
And right now my heart is beginning to hurt like crazy because I know things are changing again . . . I really just need to embrace it, even if it does make me sad for a little bit, because every phase of my life seems to be more beautiful than the last, and that's something to be excited about. Change is something to marvel at, even if sometimes that marveling includes dread and fear at first.
"I noticed tonight that the world has been turning . . . though I know I said I wouldn't leave you behind, but I have to go, it breaks my heart to say that I can't stop now . . ."
Keane--Can't Stop Now
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