The Poison of Pride

      Lately I have been letting all of my friends down--whether it's hurting them with my unwise, unthoughtful words, not spending any time with them, or tearing them apart with my actions--I've felt like a failure as a friend lately.

      Every time I turn around I've hurt another person without meaning to.

      This has been making me feel like crap--but how on earth do I change something that I'm not even doing intentionally?

      I finally took some time out this morning to spend with God--something that I've been ignoring lately because I've been "so busy," and really, if I admit, I've been thinking I can do everything on my own. I didn't "have time" for God. That makes me sick.

      So what God showed me is my pride--something He is continually having to convict me of, and something that I keep fully embracing again, over and over.

How pride? Well, my life was being lived in this order because I was busy and overwhelmed:


            Me--Most important, needs to figure everything out on my own.

            Others--Less important than me, but I still care about them.

            God--Last priority, not worshiped or trusted.


      That's idolatry, pride, disgusting, etc.

      It's time to start worshipping God, surrendering my life to Him, and living my life to honor Him once again. Time to stop thinking so highly and so much of myself, and to put my desires last.


      I'm praying that God will help me to stomp out the pride in my heart and to truly love Him and others. I cannot handle anything on my own--it's obvious that the only thing I'm capable of is messing things up and hurting people. I need God in order to figure things out and get through anything.