The God-shaped Hole.

Ever since sin entered the world, we humans have been trying to fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts with so many things other than God. We're trying to make ourselves happy. We try to bring ourselves joy and fulfillment by worshipping jobs, money, entertainment, nature, family, friends, hobbies, significant others, beauty, fitness, life goals, clothes, homes, education . . . . but idols are powerless and harmful--they will never bring us true or lasting joy.

One of the most significant idols that I personally struggle with every day is my relationships. My need to be loved and accepted by everyone around me is unbelievably disgusting. I feel justified in moping when I don't get enough attention, or in being angry if someone doesn't treat me "the way that I 'deserve.'" And then, if someone does pay attention to me, or show me some sign of loving me, all of the sudden I'm momentarily on cloud 9.

My joy, or should I say happiness, relies on my relationships--they are an idol. They are something I am trying to give a job to that only God can truly accomplish.

What I've been realizing lately though, is that not only am I breaking God's commandment to have NO other gods besides Him, I'm also placing unreachable and unfair expectations onto my friends, family and significant other.

I've been thinking that it's their responsibility to make me happy. (Basically I was convinced that the world was centered around me.)

But God has been showing me how wrong I am, and how unfair I have been being in my relationships. If I would place God at the very center of my life, relying completely on Him to provide for me and fill my heart with joy (He is the only one who can fill that God-shaped hole after all, right?). . . then not only would it be more fair to the people in my life, it would also be a blessing to them; I could bring my God-given joy into their lives and bless, encourage, and be there for them, instead of relying on them to give me joy and to bless me.

It's going to be a radical change for me; I'm such a disgustingly self-centered creature. I'm so glad that God is helping me to see it though, and I am praying that He will help me to truly change.